Disillusioned

A Journey from Certainty to Faith

Disillusioned is a memoir, a spiritual how-not-to, and a revelation of hope for experiencing God and living the message of Jesus in a bold new way. In this candid and moving story, former mega-church pastor Dan Cox shares how, after a lifetime of Christianity, he watched his long-held belief systems go up in smoke. And how, like burning a field for new growth, his disillusionment allowed him to grow spiritually in ways his old faith never allowed.

Cox had erected a perfect Christian framework around his life: Overseas mission work. Pastoring a fledgling church into a 6500-member church. Building a family. But even as he seemed to have all the answers, Cox became filled with doubts about his ministry and his marriage, and deeply depressed. Facing tremendous trials and feeling a disconnect between his theology and his experience, he prayed fervently. Yet God seemed absent. Eventually, all his certainties—about marriage, prayer, the Bible, and even salvation—lay in ashes at his feet. So he had to start over again. And on that seared ground, God and his grace met him, and he began to radically reconstruct his life—this time supported by true faith.

Disillusioned is an honest exploration of what happens when the answers you’ve grown up with—and doled out to everyone else—don’t make sense anymore. Around the world, there are millions like Dan who, dissatisfied with their Christian experience, are walking away from church. This book is for those on the edges. The faint. The fallen. The desperate. The doubters. Here is a hopeful story, offering comfort and a fresh vision for a renewed and authentic life of freedom in Christ.

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Author Bios

Dan Cox has been in ministry since 1970. After training in YWAM’s second School of Evangelism, he traveled to Europe, the Middle East, and Africa on missionary outreaches. Back in his hometown of Grand Junction, Colorado, he grew a church of three dozen into a mega-church of 6,500 before retiring from full time ministry. He now works as a chaplain at a hospice center in Grand Junction, a position that has allowed him to cultivate and share his new faith in a hands-on fashion. Dan enjoys riding his Harley amid the canyons of western Colorado, fishing in mountain streams, and spending time with his family, friends, and grandson, Levon.

Carmen Radley is also co-author of Waiting for A Father: Hearing the Heart-Cry of the Orphans of the World (Deep River Books). A graduate of the University of Texas at Austin, with a BA and an MA in English and creative writing, she now lives in Salt Lake City.